In fact I'm half expecting the Stalk Police to rock up and take me in for questioning, where in a icy cold darkened cell with only a naked light bulb and a three legged metal chair for ornamentation, they'll start asking me the most personal and probing of questions -
"Why are you stalking Ms Curtin?"
"Cause she's just written this most amazing novel called Elemental."
The Stalk Police are curious, "is it a crime novel?"
Now I've gotta think. Hard stuff when I'm in a place that bears an uncanny resemblance to my writing room back at home, my dungeon. I know the Stalk Police want Elemental to be about them. Even they are narcissists. Which if you've read Elemental; you'd want this beautiful heart-wrenching novel to be about you. But it's not.
'Yeah, it’s a crime novel,' I lie. 'It's set in Perth and it's about the Stalk Police actually.'
They let me off with a caution, and set off to the nearest bookshop to buy a copy of Elemental. Yay! Another copy sold. Every Australian should have a copy of Elemental by Amanda Curtin, it’s a gem.